By Shelly Froehlich, LPC
There is so much chatter out there right now about how to 'fix' your fear and anxiety. How to distract yourself from it as a solution. The thing is, a distraction only lasts for so long and all the while your fear is being ignored, it likely will become bigger and more fearful. There is no way to 'fix' a normal human emotion that is an appropriate response to uncertainty, especially in regards to health and safety (physical, financial, relational, etc). Instead of offering you a 'fix' we would like to invite you to pay attention to your fear or anxiety.
Your body is the most valuable resource you possess and we invite you to face in, with love, to yourself:
1. When the fear or anxiety arises, let yourself notice it in your body.
2. Notice the sensations of fear in your body. Where are they located? What are the qualities of sensation? Spend 4 mindful breaths allowing yourself to notice your fear/anxious sensation(s).
3. Allow yourself to name it as you experience it - "I have a knot in my stomach. I feel scared." (notice that no explanation is needed here. There is no "because" required)
4. Come back into your body, into that place where you felt the fear sensation and take 3 mindful breaths, just noticing.
5. Check-in and ask yourself, "Do I still feel the scared/anxious feelings in my body?"
6. If the answer is no. Amazing....giving your anxiety or fear attention allowed it to move. Come back to this practice every time it arises.
7. If the answer is yes, ask your body what is its impulse? Do you want to scream, air punch, run, growl? Where it will not cause distress or harm to others, allow yourself to express your impulse for a maximum of 1 minute or less.
8. Come back to your body. Notice that place in your body where you felt the fear/anxiety sensation as you breathe 3 mindful breaths. Are those sensations lessened or gone?
9. Try it and let us know how it goes for you.
10. Repeat as often as fear or anxiety arise.
Your sensations just want to move...and they need attention to let them do that. Once they've moved you will know what you need and want next.