By Heather Caldwell, LPCC
Each season, we mark the change by celebrating a solstice or equinox. These calendar events mark transition and the opportunity to check-in, reflect on the past, and plan for the future. As the summer solstice approaches, I am pausing the series on relationships to address the coming season change.
The past 16 months have been one wild ride! A pandemic, a presidential election, a rising social justice movement, a vaccine rollout, and more. For many of us, in March 2020 our world got smaller due to the pandemic. We had to choose who was in our “bubble” and make decisions about whether we went to visit grandma or go on vacation or even go to the grocery store.
Life events happened without the usual celebration, such as graduations, weddings, births, and deaths.
We saw suffering each night on the news, through protests, violence, and body counts.
Now, we have a vaccine and are seeing our worlds open up. But the past 16 months have made an impact. For many of us, they’ve shaken our foundation, made us question our identity, and challenged our relationships. They may have also sparked you to examine not only the meaning of life (which is natural when we are faced with our own mortality) but who you are and what you want to do with your life.
June 20th marks Summer Solstice in the Northern Hemisphere. It is the longest day of the year, meaning it’s the day with the most visible sunlight. From December 21st to June 21st our days slowly and then rapidly gain sunlight. As we tip to the other side on June 22nd, we will slowly and then rapidly lose sunlight as we slide into the shortest day of the year, Winter Solstice, on December 21st. This cycle happens every year and - like the ebbs and flows of the tide, this is the ebb and flow of lightness and darkness.
These changes, however, are constant. They are predictable. They are rhythmic. And they mark the cycles of our lives.
There are many ways to connect this ebbing and flowing cycle to our lives - such as birth and death, seed to harvest, and relationships with friends and lovers. We can also see these ebbs and flows in our desire to socially connect with others (stepping into the light, if you will) and our need for silent retreat inwards (stepping back into the dark, into ourselves). Some are like the ebbs and flows of seasons and tides - predictable, constant, and so rhythmic we hardly notice them. While others make us feel unmoored, floating out at sea, chaotic, uncertain.
With parts of the world and our communities opening back up, you may be examining which parts of your pre-pandemic life you want to step back into - which relationships, habits, social engagements, and more. And which parts you want to leave behind. Maybe there are parts that you cultivated during the past 16 months that you want to take up a more permanent residence.
Solstices provide an excellent time to reflect on all these experiences. They invite us to reflect on our past journey, celebrate our successes, and mourn our losses. The solstice is a time to explore the present moment, to examine the current situation for what works, what feels healthy, and what feeds the soul. They also invite us to explore what isn’t working, what isn’t healthy, and what dampens the soul. They are a wonderful opportunity to create new intentions for moving forward and to shed that which no longer serves us.
Suggestions for Reflection
This section of this post offers some suggestions on how to reflect on what’s happening for you personally as well as how to find some stable ground in the many unknowns we are continuing to experience.
We are in midsummer, almost halfway through the year, the perfect time to reflect on the past 6 months and to (re)vision the next 6 months. I’ve created several journal prompts below based on some common themes I’m seeing in my practice. What resonates with you?
Ending Cycles
Sometimes we are ready for change. Our hearts are open, the harvest has been sown, and we are ready for an ending. Other times it can be hard. We don’t want to say goodbye or close a door. FOMO (fear of missing out) or fear of the unknown can keep us in unhealthy relationships, jobs, or patterns. Endings can be sad. They can be filled with anger, guilt, or darkness. And they can be celebrated (graduation!), filled with light, and mark a new beginning.
As the sun completes its cycle, what can you shed? What holds you down or holds you back? What no longer serves you? What cycles of yours are ending? What are you actively working to let go of in your life? What has completed its purpose? What are you now ready to move on from? Is there something you want to let go of that makes you scared, angry, guilty, unhappy, or uncomfortable?
This can be everything from shifting careers to examining relationships to giving up addictions or unhealthy coping mechanisms.
What were some challenges during this cycle? What role did you have in creating them or keeping them alive? What internal and external resources did you use to navigate these challenges? What might you try differently for a different outcome? What lessons can you learn from them?
What were some successes during this cycle? How did you create them? How did you celebrate them? What internal and external resources did you tap into to support you in these successes?
What patterns do you recognize in this cycle? How does this cycle feel familiar? How does it feel different?
What advice or words of wisdom do you have for your younger/earlier self? What advice do you wish you had then? In what ways did this cycle serve you? What can you appreciate about yourself and others in this cycle?
New Cycles
Beginnings can be just as scary or challenging as endings. There’s fear of the unknown, of repeating unhealthy cycles, of failure, of so many things! But there’s also opportunities for growth, for connection, for expansion, for deepening into our life's purpose.
We are moving towards harvest season. What do you want to plant and grow for harvest season? What new ideas or dusted-off ideas do you want to blossom? Where do you want your energy and attention directed?
How do you step into the unknown? What do you need to do in order to create a hospitable environment for growth? Who are the key players or key skills you want onboard?
What new activities, learnings, movements, or creations do you want in your life? What are some small steps you can take to start making this a reality? What do these new things bring you?
What healthy activities, thoughts, endeavors feed your soul and make you feel alive? How can you invite more of these into your life? Can you commit to making these part of your life?
What goals do you want to lean into?
In what ways can you make YOU a priority?
Self-care & Turning Inward
As we cross the threshold and start to move towards winter solstice, the nights begin to slowly grow longer. How do you invite rest and restoration into your soul, your body, your relationships, and your home? Rest is important. Silence and stillness allow us to heal. They allow us to hear the beating of our hearts. They allow us to connect with ourselves and others.
How do you gently care for yourself?
In what ways can you honor yourself? List 5 things that make you feel good, filled with aliveness, and connected?
Now schedule a time to do at least one of these items this week.
What are three things you can do to celebrate you? Why did you pick these three things? What parts of you do they celebrate?
If you were to take yourself on a date, what would you do?
Now schedule a date with yourself and don’t cancel!
What are some ways you can invite play into your life?
What are 10 things your inner critic says about you? Circle the top 5. Turn these 5 into positive statements. Post these somewhere you can see them. (I love using a dry erase marker and writing on my bathroom mirror!) Over the next week, every time the inner critic says the negative thing, reply with your newly creative positive counterargument. Note the difference this makes.
During these times, there are many unknowns. What are 12 things you know to be true?
Make a cup of iced tea or cold brew, grab your journal, and pick a few questions that resonate with you. Jot your notes down and then tuck them away - maybe paperclip them to your wall calendar - so you access them again on Winter Solstice for another round of reflection and (re)vision.
If you’re feeling stuck or need additional support, please contact us. The therapists at Evolve in Nature are here to support you on your healing journey so that you might experience a greater level of happiness, purpose, and fulfillment.