Rethinking Symptoms: Identifying and Healing the Source of Emotional Wounds

by Brian Danziger, MA, LPC

Managing symptoms is an essential part of therapy, but the deeper, transformative work involves identifying and healing the wound at its source. In psychology, there is frequent discussion about the “root cause” of distress. In this article, we explore where negative beliefs about ourselves and our symptoms might originate. It is important to note that this is not a one-size-fits-all approach; as symptoms are often impacted by things like genetics, culture, diet, and environment.  

The Basic Needs of Childhood

In childhood, our basic needs are to feel safe, soothed, seen, heard, and important. These needs form the foundation for developing a healthy sense of self and a balanced worldview. When consistently met, these needs allow us to grow into confident, emotionally resilient individuals. Let’s examine each need in more detail:

• Safety: Feeling physically and emotionally secure is fundamental. When children feel safe, they can explore their environment and relationships without fear. Safety provides a sense of stability that fosters trust in others and the world.

• Soothed: Children need caregivers who can calm them during distressing moments. Being soothed teaches self-regulation and helps children understand that discomfort is temporary and manageable.

• Seen: To feel seen means to have one’s experiences and emotions acknowledged. When caregivers validate a child’s inner world, it nurtures self-worth and a belief that their feelings matter.

• Heard: Feeling heard ensures that a child’s thoughts, ideas, and desires are respected. This encourages self-expression and reinforces the child’s sense of agency.

• Importance: Feeling important means knowing that you matter as your authentic self. It’s about being valued simply for who you are, not for what you achieve.

It is important to note that children’s emotional needs do not need to be met perfectly all the time for them to develop a positive view of themselves and the world. The more often these needs are met, or when caregivers can acknowledge and apologize for unmet needs, the better the child’s sense of security and trust becomes. This repair process helps mend relational disruptions and reinforces a foundation of safety and connection. Even when some needs remain unmet, a generally nurturing and responsive environment can still support healthy development.  

How Neglect Impacts Brain Development

“when childhood emotional needs are not met, it can negatively impact brain development, particularly during critical growth periods. ”

If you are not interested in an in-depth review of neuroscience, the key takeaway is that when childhood emotional needs are not met, it can negatively impact brain development, particularly during critical growth periods. Chronic stress from unmet needs can overactivate the amygdala and dysregulate the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal (HPA) axis, leading to heightened stress sensitivity and excessive cortisol production. The prefrontal cortex, responsible for emotional regulation and decision-making, may develop abnormally, while reduced connectivity in brain networks like the corpus callosum and default mode network (DMN) can hinder emotional processing, self-reflection, and problem-solving. Impairments in the limbic system, including reduced hippocampal volume, can affect memory and emotional contextualization, and disruptions to social neural circuits may result in attachment difficulties and challenges with empathy and trust. Additionally, prolonged neglect can overactivate survival-oriented brain structures at the expense of higher-order cognitive areas, leading to a heightened "fight, flight, or freeze" response. Epigenetic changes may also occur, altering stress and emotion regulation across the lifespan. These changes can increase the risk for mental health issues, cognitive challenges, and difficulties forming healthy relationships, highlighting the importance of early intervention and nurturing relationships to mitigate these effects.

Unmet Needs Shape Negative Beliefs

When these needs are consistently unmet, children must adapt to survive emotionally. With their egocentric worldview, children often blame themselves, believing that the problem lies within them rather than their caregivers. This self-blame creates negative beliefs, which offer an illusion of control. For children it feels more bearable to think “I am not good enough” than to confront the idea that caregivers might be incapable of meeting their needs.

Some examples of negative beliefs and their root cause could include:

• "I am not good enough"

• If a child is not made to feel important as their authentic self, they may develop the belief “I am not good enough.” To cope, the child might strive to excel in sports, academics, or the arts to gain attention and validation. Later in life, this can manifest as perfectionism or an inability to rest, driven by a constant need to prove their worth.

• "My emotions are not valid"

• When a child’s emotions are dismissed as burdensome, they might adopt the belief “My emotions are not valid.” To cope, the child learns to shut down their emotions or numb themselves. In adulthood, this can evolve into symptoms like chronic depression (a state of emotional numbness), or substance abuse where alcohol or other substances are needed to self soothe or numb.

Therapy to Address the Root Cause of Symptoms

At Evolve In Nature, we recognize the profound impact of unmet childhood needs and the resulting negative beliefs. To address these issues at their root, we offer a range of therapeutic modalities, including:

• EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing): Helps reprocess traumatic memories and change negative beliefs.

• Parts Work (Internal Family Systems): Aims to integrate and heal different parts of the self that hold past wounds.

• Somatic Therapy: Focuses on releasing stored trauma through body awareness and physical sensation.

Healing emotional wounds requires understanding their origins and addressing the unmet needs that shaped negative beliefs about ourselves. By meeting these wounds with compassion and using evidence-based therapeutic approaches, it’s possible to create lasting change. In part two of this series, we’ll go into more depth on how EMDR, Parts Work, and Somatic Therapy specifically target the root causes of symptoms to foster deeper healing.

If you are interested in diving deeper into this subject matter and would like support, please reach out and we will connect you with a therapist.