By Megan Newton, LPCC
The mass shooting that took place in Boulder, Colorado on March 22, 2021 was horrific. In these early hours of the aftermath, many of us are experiencing shock, grief, fear, and rage. Our community is feeling the effects of terror and many are wondering how to respond and what to do. With that in mind, here are 5 things you can do now to tend to your mental and emotional health, which will lay the groundwork for your own healing and also allow you to respond effectively to those around you.
Move The Energy In Your Body
Neuroscience confirms what ancient practices have often taught: we regulate by moving emotional energy through our body. As my mentor, Julie Colwell puts it, “Emotion is energy and energy needs to move.” If you are feeling scared, tune into your body. What is the impulse there? Often the words we use to describe how feel reflect what it is our bodies want to do. I feel shaky or I feel rattled might indicate that your body wants to shake, so let it. Same goes for anger or sadness: let your emotional energy move. Refrain, for a moment, from talking about it and instead engage briefly in the doing of the feeling. Let your body cry, shake, scream, run in place, punch a pillow, stomp, or bellow into the air. Just for a moment, that is it. Neuroscience tells us that we move emotional energy through our body in approximately 9 seconds-2 minutes. Set a timer. In other words, we are not talking about a 5-mile run, or a workout at the gym, etc. While those can be supportive, that is not the conscious connection to your body I am talking about here. Don’t let yourself go on and on. Come back to your body after those 9 seconds-2 minutes to see what you notice. Your body is your barometer. Do you notice any change? Maybe it got bigger, maybe it got smaller. What you’re feeling may move in waves, let it flow. This is not the time to bear down on fear, or rage, or sadness, or pretend like you’re fine and tell yourself, “It could have been worse.” Those methods of response ignore the truth in your own body and perpetuate a trauma response that will undoubtedly come out sideways later. Can you love yourself enough to allow yourself to experience what’s true if only for a moment? Can you allow your partner and friends the same? Can you help your kids own what is true in their own bodies and move it through?
Then, Calm Your System
Once you’ve moved your emotional energy you may feel tired. Or, you may notice that you only have mild relief. Or, you may notice you have total relief. You are just looking for change, however big or small. Now it’s time to step out of the active phase for a moment and into the nourishing phase. This is one way you can let your body know you are safe and that your system (after having moved the energy) can recover from responding to threat. Reorient to safety by looking around your environment, notice how you are safe in this moment, and speak those things out loud so your mind and body can hear you. Consider a gentle, short walk, a cup of tea, laying on the floor, curling up in a blanket, a self-massage or hug, light stretch, meditation, sitting or walking outside, etc.
Limit Your News and Media Intake
Absorbing too much news and media about the tragedy can keep the trauma response going round and round in your nervous system. As your brain keeps taking in information and disturbing images, your brain continues to perceive threat, which keeps your nervous system in a state of survival reaction. This can cause you to feel disoriented, continuously tired, or even dissociated. Consider putting limits on your media consumption. Ask yourself: What is it that I really want to know? What will that do for me? If it will truly be helpful, consider setting a timer for 5-10 minutes, and only checking in on the news once/day. Avoid the ‘numbing’ scroll and avoid looking at/reading media at least two hours before you go to bed.
Connect With Others
Reach out to your people via phone, text, zoom, or in-person (of course, with covid precautions). Consider reaching out to others once you’ve moved your emotional energy through your body and then calmed your system. This will allow you to be clear about what you need in connection with others including what you’re willing to talk about. For some, telling their story will be helpful, for others talking more about the trauma or listening to trauma may not feel good. Know your boundaries. It is ok to tell someone you cannot talk about the event while still supporting each other. If talking about the mass shooting in Boulder is important to you, consider setting a time limit so that you don’t spin out running through it over and over and over again, raging about all the bad people and policies in the world, etc. In the early stages, connection is about nourishing. Imagine a mother holding a crying child. Later stages of connecting can include more collaboration and action steps. Initially, consider sitting with each other, holding hands or hugging someone, checking in on a neighbor or friend, calling people who care about you even if they are not local or even if you don’t want to talk about the incident, making an appointment with your therapist, going for a walk, allowing you both to have your feelings without needing to fix them or change them. If you do not have connection with other people, consider reaching out to a therapist, knocking on your neighbor’s door, sitting or walking in nature, or visiting the CU Events Center, 950 Regent Drive, for free mental and emotional services 8am-5pm.
Let Your Voice Be Heard
After all that, if you have energy and desire, consider how a response (vs. reaction) might be supportive to you. Consider writing a letter to a victim. Maybe you knew one of them. Maybe you casually knew one of the clerks like I did after having shopped there for nearly two decades. Maybe you didn’t know any of them at all but words bubble up in you. Even if it is just a sentence, write it down. You can post it on the fence outside King Soopers, leave it in your journal, burn it, share it if appropriate. Maybe you want to write a letter to the shooter, to your congress person, or the president. Let yourself speak what you want to say. Or, consider letting your voice be heard by donating to these official organizations here. Or, consider getting involved financially, creatively, or actively with organizations that are working in ways you agree with.
If you need additional support during this time you can call the Disaster Distress Helpline at 1-800-985-5990 or you can reach out to us here at Evolve In Nature to schedule a psychotherapy session to support you through this horrific trauma.