By Kim Hinzy, LCSW, C-CAT
“The Little Things? The Little Moments? They aren’t little. ”
The alarm goes off and the day is still dark. Perhaps you hit snooze or start scrolling on your phone, or you may jump right out of bed and into your morning routine. Or, maybe you struggle to face the day ahead and fight the urge to just stay in bed. This time of year you may also be experiencing the pressures of the upcoming holiday season, a ticker tape of to-do’s scrolling through your mind fueling an almost constant low buzz of anxiety. By the time you start the car to leave for the day, you may already be feeling overwhelmed but your brain knows what to do and you get in the seat and go–autopilot has been activated. When anxiety goes up, our emotions tend to run the show and we don’t invest a lot of thinking into our actions. It’s much easier to simply let our anxious autopilot choose a response.
The Pros and Cons of Autopilot
Our ability to do things with minimal cognitive effort is often referred to as “being on autopilot,” and is how we deal with performing complex tasks in our everyday lives without having to learn them over and over again. When we do not have to direct our complete attention to a familiar task, we are freed up to engage in a whole variety of other, more complex tasks. The ability to walk, drive a car, or make our morning coffee with a fraction of our processing capacity is a vital adaptive skill. The effects of being on autopilot, however, can become harmful when we use it to process our emotional experience or as a way of being in the world. It deprives you of the opportunity to consciously observe your emotional state and recognize what’s happening around you and within you. When on autopilot emotionally, we become detached and disconnected from ourselves and can end up cycling through moods and emotional states and then wonder how we got there. By increasing our present-moment awareness, we can avoid becoming so lost in our emotions that we no longer know what we are feeling or why.
A Mindful Shift
Mindfulness is the opposite of autopilot. It is awareness, pausing for a few deep breaths at a stoplight, noticing the smell of the earth after a rain, or fully connecting with bodily sensations and emotion without judgment and intentionally being right where you are at any given moment. With practice, mindfulness is a tool that can increase your connectedness, acceptance of emotions, and awareness of yourself, others, and the world.
People who practice mindfulness say it fundamentally changes how they experience life. The research behind the effectiveness of mindfulness is growing every day and it is a foundational component of many therapeutic interventions. You can learn more about the science and research behind mindfulness here. When exploring how to cultivate mindfulness with others I’m often met with these comments, “I don’t have time to meditate,” “I can’t meditate, my mind just wanders,” or “I can’t turn off my brain.” It’s a common misconception to think that mindfulness means meditating in a lotus pose on a sunny beach or being in a blissful state on a yoga cushion, free of thought. While meditation is one tool for cultivating mindfulness, it is not the only tool and may not feel accessible to everyone. Remember, when you are consciously bringing your mind to the present moment, you are cultivating mindfulness. You can do that in everyday life by slowing down and tuning into your surroundings.
Little Moments of Mindfulness
Each day is filled with tiny opportunities to grow your present-moment awareness and spend less time on autopilot. Small, positive actions every day can add up to large changes over time and help you connect to yourself and your vitality. Let’s go back to the morning routine described at the beginning of this post and explore ways to weave in small mindful practices:
Breathe
Before jumping out of bed, take 15-30 seconds to engage with your breath. Breathwork can be a tool to connect more deeply to both our physical body and our essential being. Breathing deeply signals our parasympathetic nervous system to calm the body down and can be used throughout the day. Start by placing your hand on your heart or abdomen. For a moment, simply notice the weight of your hand and notice any sensations you might feel there. Next, inhale through your nose until you reach the top of your breath, hold, and exhale through your mouth. Repeat 3-4 times.
Notice
While still in bed, take a moment to notice your bed. How do your sheets feel against your skin? Notice the softness of your pillow and the weight of your blankets. What is the light like in the room? What sounds do you hear? Do a quick scan of your body from head to toe. If you notice any tension, perhaps you can do a gentle stretch or intentionally relax that part of your body.
Savor Your Shower
Have you ever truly paid attention in the shower? Tune into the sensations in your body. What does the water feel like as it hits your skin? Notice the soap as it lathers, and tune into the feeling of the soap on your skin. What does it smell like? Slowly massage your scalp as you shampoo your hair.
Sip Slowly
Take the time to mindfully enjoy your morning beverage. It’s a beautiful way to start the day. Before swallowing your first sip, take a moment to hold it in your mouth to fully experience the sensation of taste. Is it warm? Cold? What does it smell like? You can even think about where the beverage comes from. Imagine the sun on the coffee beans in the field or the smell of oranges on the tree. Perhaps take this moment to offer some gratitude.
Connect
If you have children, a partner, or pets at home, take a moment to truly connect with them. Mornings can feel rushed and it’s an easy time to slip into habit and go through the motions. But it can also be a beautiful time to connect with loved ones. Take a few moments to chat, look into their eyes, linger with a hug, or give some extra pets. Giving and receiving affection, with permission, is good for you and can reduce the impacts of stress on your body.
Consciously Commute
If you drive to work or school, try tuning into the sensations in the car. How does the steering wheel feel on your hands? Notice where your body makes contact with the seat. What does the heat/AC/fresh air feel like on your skin? While it’s important to pay attention to the road, driving also allows you to take in your surroundings. The favorite part of my commute is seeing the mountains at the crest of the hill.
Nurture Yourself in Nature
Nature is rich with opportunities to cultivate mindfulness. Can you see something that you’ve never seen before, whether it’s on the ground, on the side of a building, or high in the sky? Are the birds singing? What does the air feel like on your skin? How does the sun or snow change the light in the room? What does it feel like to move your body through the natural environment?
A First Step
Practicing mindfulness allows you to develop the skill of being an observer. From this lens, you can train your mind to notice when you’re on autopilot and make a conscious shift to present-moment awareness. It’s also important to recognize that mindfulness is both a practice (like those described above) and an outcome (mindful awareness). Starting with small, gentle practices is the first step on your journey to mindful awareness. You can try picking just one tip from the list above for a week and see what happens. What do you notice? How do you feel? I encourage you to let yourself slow down and truly experience the world around and within YOU.
If you or someone you know needs support getting started on their own mindfulness journey, the therapist at Evolve in Nature can help. Please reach out to find out more.